Dusk, Decks & Cherry Eyes

I don’t want to stay desensitized
forever your bloodletting hands touching
my weekend skin.

Mother set us off the path into
the brush– I hit my head in the river ditch
but brother pulled it from me.

You, among those things I never
quit attempting, never enough negotiating
toward my lack of living.

Your windowsill alight, I visit you
crowing crawling
though I left my bed that morning.

A new experience must be
some self allotted lie– tastebuds of nothing
but an ill-intended idea.

I write these words and phrases into existence provided by some
goddamn straight-to-streaming show funded by millions.
I could never stand for a liar and yet I’m here
waiting to create while all alone and free.
Just the other day I recorded my own suicide
as if you and I and them meant nothing.

Today I want everything.